Posted in Writing Stuff

Writing prompt – Rock bottom

Prompt: (tumblr) “so this is it? Have we finally arrived at rock bottom?”
“No, there’s still some places to go.”

Word Count: 2023

 

One of the major drawbacks to immortality is that you can’t die. Yeah, I know, the word “duh” springs to mind but hear me out. There’s obviously the whole “watching everyone you love around you wither and die” thing and the ever-so-slightly-terrifying knowledge that one day the universe will reach its finite and conclusive end and I’m not too sure what’s going to happen to me after that point; I have visions of me floating in an endless void of nothingness with not even the stars to see as by that point, they’ll have all ceased to exist as well.

I’ll still probably have Fluff though. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

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Posted in Alice's Adventures in Adultland

Alice’s Adventures in Adult-Land – Cosplay from an outsider POV

Cosplay is a weird hobby. There, I said it.

No but seriously, jokes aside – whenever I tell new people what it is I like to do in my spare time, I can quickly judge where the conversation is heading from just how high their eyebrows go as I explain I spend a ridiculous amount of my time, money, sweat and tears on this hobby, making fictional character costumes so that I can spend a day at comic con pretending to be said fictional character. The word “cosplay” alone should be enough of a clue to begin with as it is literally an amalgamation of the words “costume” and “play.”

Although, to be honest, when you break down any activity or hobby like that, they can all sound pretty damn strange.

“Hello! I like to strap planks of wood to my feet, climb to the top of a mountain and then let gravity do the thing.”

“I like to throw myself into a sweaty crowd of people where there’s music playing at such an extreme level I can’t actually hear it that well and then we all just throw ourselves violently at each other until the song is over.”

 “I like to watch men kick a round product made of thick animal skin in between two posts at opposite ends of a field… No, I don’t like to actually PARTAKE in this activity, I just like to watch and cheer them on.”

“I collect various versions of dead trees that have been mashed down into an unrecognisable form, stare at the markings contained within and hallucinate for hours on end.”

I could try make the argument that cosplay might not actually be the weirdest hobby out there but… pfft, I ain’t trying to defend my dorky interests here. A cosplay-related incident happened this week between me and my father which got me thinking. You see, to me, everything that happens at in the process of making a cosplay and at con has become pretty normalised; late night panics the night before con, the glue gun burns, the tears when the experimentation didn’t quite pan out the way I’d hoped… yup, all pretty standard. However, to an outsider, cosplay must sometimes appear to go beyond ‘quirky creative hobby’ to ‘I think it’s actually a cult send help.’

My father is such an outsider. Everything he knows about cosplay is the bare minimum that he has picked up through exposure to my hobby; he doesn’t really know what comic con is nor does he have any particular interest in going, and in terms of the various media relating to my cosplay, he can get about as far as distinguishing that I’m making a “Disney Princess” dress but wouldn’t be able to tell you which one.  My Mum will always happily help me out with my cosplays – I’ve learnt everything I know about sewing from her, so she kind of gets it and will often be good natured enough to let me take over a room in the house when I’m on a new project provided I don’t accidentally fill the washing machine with loose glitter again (it was ONE time, ok??!) but when it’s all going on, my Dad has to inhabit this space, on the fringes of a world he has pretty much no idea about.

So for today’s blog, I have decided to switch the perspective a bit. Everything mentioned below are genuine examples of things that have happened to me during the cosplay process (although they’re from over a range of years as opposed to one each month) but all to explore the idea – is cosplay really that strange a hobby?  (Yes. Yes it is.)
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Posted in Top Five...

Top Five… Cheerfully creepy songs

As shown with my last top 5 list, I’ve got a bit of a penchant for things that aren’t as they seem. So, going on from that, here’s my top five most cheerfully creepy songs. Enjoy!!

Honourable mention: MMMbop – Hanson

This is the one that keeps coming up on lists like this so I’m pretty sure there’s now not a person who was alive in the 90’s who doesn’t know this song is about the futility of life. (If this was news to you, then SURPRISE!! All along, Hanson were trying to tell you that you will inevitably grow old and die, and most things you do are meaningless. OKAAAY YEAAAAH MMMMBOP!!! 😀 😀 )

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Posted in Writing Stuff

Writing Prompt – Oh La La

Prompt: (iPod on shuffle) Oh La La – Small Faces
Word count: 567

Train journeys are great, aren’t they? They’re a brilliant time to reflect on things as you head into the unknown and the new, or as you crawl back home, battered and destroyed from life.

We go home to repair. It’s always described as a relief to get home.

So, I reflect. Or rather I plug in my headphones, curl up on the empty seat next to me and using my rucksack as a pillow, I try to sleep. I try to block out the feelings of failure, the thoughts of rejection. I look up at the yellow overhead lights, the grey seats, the darkened windows with the occasional light from outside flashing past. We’re passing through the countryside – I’ll know soon enough when we get close to the city because that’s when the lights get brighter, more frequent. Some might say ‘more intrusive’ but not me. I can’t sleep if it’s too peaceful. I need the roar of a distant motorway and streetlights streaming in through my window to sooth me to sleep. She always hated that.
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Posted in Alice's Adventures in Adultland

Alice’s Adventures in Adultland -Personal Hygiene

I’ve had some pretty awesome news this week which I can’t wait to share out soon, so watch this space for that. In the meantime, for today’s blog, I have decided to share some advice that I had to learn the hard way.

NEVER – UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES – WASH YOUR LADY PARTS WITH A PRODUCT THAT CONTAINS MINT OR CITRUS.

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Posted in Writing Stuff

2am chills.

Sometimes, the scariest things are the simplest. When I’m up late and finally decide to go to bed, I will turn all the lights off downstairs and head upstairs. As I’m walking to my room, I’ll glance out the window that opens out onto the front of the house and see that the motion-activated light has come on. It could be a fox, it could just be leaves in the wind – but what’s that sound? Is it just the dull sounds of my own body amplified in my skull? Or is it – muffled through the windows – is that the gravel on the driveway crunching under footsteps heading around the side of the house?
And suddenly I’ll wonder — did I check if the back door was actually locked?