As a band, we sometimes tempt fate. Most of the time it’s in vaguely harmless-hilarious ways, such as Wotsit being mistaken for a Nazi, but then there’s times when there’s genuine legal ramifications or long-term consequences.
I suspect it comes from naming the band “Crime Scene Yeah.” With a name like that, it’s just ASKING to get in trouble. People seem to get the impression that we’re a WELL ‘ARD BAND when we’re really… uh… not
One example was at a more recent gig we played in Brighton where afterwards, as Spike, Wotsit and I were standing outside and about to lug our amps and gear away, when a rather inebriated fellow came up to us.
😀 😀 I JUST WANTED TO SAY YOU GUYS WERE AWESOME!! 😀 😀 the guy said, slurring his words and barely able to stand up straight.
“Thank you!” we said, then turned back to the more pressing issue of how the hell we were getting home.
“NO, I’M SERIOUS,” the guy said, grabbing my arm. “YOU WERE GREAT!!!”
“Thank you,” I said. “Now get off me.”
“AND YOU TOO!!” the guy continued, pointing at Wotsit. “LIKE YOU TWO, YOU WERE AWESOME!! REALLY ENERGETIC, I REALLY *insert slurred incomprehensible mess of words*”
Spike meanwhile was standing between Wotsit and I, completely ignored until the guy seemed to remember him and said “YOU COULD REALLY LEARN A LOT FROM THESE TWO!!”
“… were you even in the audience??” Spike asked.
This was a serious question – there had been literally TWO people in the audience for that show, the promoter and one of our mates.
While we were trying to work out what band this guy had seen and how he’d mistaken them for us, this guy decided to continue to try and offer Spike “helpful” advice.
“YOU SHOULD REALLY TALK TO THESE TWO!!” the guy said, continuing to maintain a firm grip on my arm. “LIKE, THEY CAN REALLY GIVE YOU SOME HELPFUL TIPS!!”
“OK mate, THANKS,” Spike said. “You’ve made your point, now LET GO OF MY GUITARIST AND LEAVE US ALONE” to which the guy replied D:< WHAT?! WHY, CAN’T YOU TAKE CRITICISM, EH?? ASSHOLE!! D:<
By this point, we’d all had enough so I yanked my arm free and we turned to leave, flagging down a taxi be damned! However, this guy felt he hadn’t quite made enough of an impression on us so started to follow us. We were carrying our amps so running away wasn’t an option.
D:< I’M JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE D:< the guy said, making another grab for me and then kept repeating to Spike how he could “learn something about performing” from Wotsit and me. What exactly, he never specified, so that mystery will never be solved.
Curious as to why this guy felt he was so qualified to offer us performance advice, we asked him what he did for a living. Surely, to provide such sound advice, he must REALLY know his stuff and also be in the industry, so we asked him what he did.
😀 😀 I’M AN ARTIST 😀 😀 he said.
In Brighton, every man and his dog is an “artist.” It would have been cruel to point this out though.
Meanwhile, a few people had started to gather around, sensing some kind of street entertainment about to go down. Someone asked us who we were and if we had a facebook page, so we told them “We’re Crime Scene Yeah, and yes, we do!! It’s *insert URL here*”
Our Artist Friend was listening and suddenly yelled “CRIME SCENE YEAH!! SOCIAL MEDIA!! I’M GOING TO GO ON YOUR PAGE AND GIVE YOU A BAD REVIEW!!!” and we were all WHAT FOR, A GIG YOU DIDN’T EVEN WATCH?
He didn’t like this and started ranting and raving about how he was going to tell everyone how horrible we were and how we weren’t very nice people, because apparently, in his drunken state, he’d regressed back to his school-yard days.
Things ending in a somewhat anti-climatic manner when the bouncers nearby suddenly realised that if this malcoordinated and very drunk man tried to actually start a fight with three stone-cold sober, considerably younger and in-better-shape musicians who were all carrying heavy instruments as potential weapons… well… it probably wouldn’t end well.
They dragged him away and we never saw him again.
– MissCherryBomb XOXO